Candy, flowers, cards and a special someone on your arm as you walk into a fancy restaurant for a delicious Valentine’s Day celebration is the perfect picture. Social media posts are highlight reels of the very best of times: all smiles and happy moments. These flawless pictures, frozen in time, can lead to pressure and sadness for some who just can’t seem to “fill the big shoes” of the perfect Valentine.

Let this Valentine’s Day be the most relaxed and enjoyable ever. Set some priorities and just have fun. Celebrate with people who matter to you. Make “celebrate” a word that doesn’t mean spending lots of money. Celebrate at home, order some great take-out and watch an old movie. Enjoy your Valentine’s Day as a family. Make cookies together. Have surprise grab bags at each place setting at dinner (love those dollar store gifts!). Have a candy heart race (find it online, it is fun!).

Be a difference-making Valentine! Send cards and letters to friends and family. Drop off cookies to neighbors. Just let people know you care. Have fun with the kids’ Valentine cards; they are very reasonably priced and come in themes. Consider dropping those off at nursing homes, homeless shelters, and food pantries. Someone will appreciate being thought of on Valentine’s Day.

Positive mental health is important. Just being you, surrounding yourself with people who make you feel special, and doing things you love and finding ways to give back are all ways to make this Valentine’s Day, positively healthy!

Your team at Lake Behavioral Hospital wishes you love, caring and compassion on Valentine’s Day. If you find yourself struggling with feelings of isolation and sadness, you know you can call us. By appointment or as a walk-in, you can ask for a free, confidential assessment. This will help you determine just what level of care and support will make things feel better for you. Calling 855-990-1900, will connect you with a caring professional. Call; we can help.

For those impacted by mental illness, the holidays can be especially challenging. Being away from regular routines, having the temptations of unhealthy eating or drinking, memories of loss and other traumas and high expectations can create stress that can seem insurmountable.

According to a study by NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64% of those with a mental illness identified the holidays as seeming to make their mental health condition worse. Although the holidays are exciting and joy-filled times for some, others feel lonely and anxious. Depression can weigh heavy on people who cannot seem to connect with others or whose support systems are not as accessible during the holiday season. For someone with mental illness, this can be the perfect storm for difficulties maintaining positive mental health.

Here are some ways to make the holidays easier:

1. Easy does it! If you can limit time at parties, letting the hosts know ahead of time, you can reduce some stress for yourself. If you are the host, plan on “less than perfect” and try to have fun. Invite those who bring you joy and are supportive. You don’t have to schedule something every day. A few days just for you, may be just what you need to regroup from activity-filled days.
2. Accept that the holidays are different for you than some others you may know. You probably know your triggers. With this information in mind, you can prepare for additional counseling support before the holidays so you can be ready with coping skills and ideas for managing your feelings.
3. Start a gratitude tradition. Begin the holiday with cards or letters thanking special people for all the ways they have supported you through the year and all the ways they have helped you be your best. Gratitude is healing and can actually improve both physical and mental health. Your gratitude letters may also encourage people to support you even more through the holidays.
4. Routines can help. Create a holiday calendar so things are not left undone and so you can clearly see whether you are sliding into a holiday habit of over-booking. Remember saying no is ok. Maybe you can say no to something now and book it for after the holiday. This may help you avoid the holiday let down of having nothing to do after all the excitement of the season ends.
5. Keep in mind that you can only be in charge of you and your own behavior. You cannot control, nor are you responsible for the behavior of others. Limit your time with those who create difficulties for you. Keep yourself healthy by creating healthy boundaries.
6. To be healthy, you must “do” healthy. Eat well, sleep enough, exercise, connect with support or a faith-based community, avoid drugs or alcohol and be honest with yourself about how you are feeling.
7. Don’t discount the benefits of professional support. When things overwhelm you and it begins to impact work/school, relationships or how you manage your day, perhaps a wellness check would be a good choice.

Overall, the holidays should be a joy-filled time of the year. By putting some of these suggestions into place, you may just find that you are having a good time, creating new, fun memories and looking forward to next year.

If you are finding that the holidays are painful times, please don’t suffer through it alone and without support. Let the caring and professional team at Lake Behavioral Hospital help you by providing a free, confidential assessment that will determine a level of support that will meet you where you are at in this moment and time. Call us 24/7/365 at 855-990-1900. We are here to help.

Lake Behavioral Hospital now offers virtual evening intensive outpatient groups. The program is offered Monday through Thursday from 5:00pm to 8:00pm via a secure telehealth platform. The intensive outpatient program (IOP) at Lake Behavioral Hospital is designed to help individuals who require more support than traditional weekly outpatient therapy. Participants benefit from group therapy facilitated by a licensed mental health therapist. Therapeutic groups focus on identifying triggers, developing coping skills and self-awareness, and encouraging peer support.

Lake Behavioral Hospital continues to offer morning in-person IOP services as well. For more information about programs at Lake Behavioral Hospital or to schedule an assessment, please call our 24/7 assessment and referral team at (855) 990-1900.

Never before has mental health had such a globally collective impact for all ages. The pandemic has proven that mental health is not something to be ignored, and, in fact we need to especially safeguard mental health in our kids.

Think about it, the pandemic caused an incredible amount of disarray in the way our kids receive support overall. Schools shut down and our kids lost the haven of protection and observation that schools are for kids. Supportive and trained professionals that “keep an eye” on our kids tried to help our kids via zoom or tele-school services. This is not the same as an in-person discussion about mental health or a face to face check-in to see how a child is doing. Kids also lost lots of peer connections during the pandemic and socializing is such an important part for this age group. In addition, parents who used the socialization techniques and peer connections to gauge health in their kids were not able to make comparisons and, thus, parents may have missed some issues of dishealth as their kids isolated more or kept to themselves during pandemic downtime.

Mental health is absolutely crucial for overall health. When kids understand mental health and their own special needs, kids are much more likely to be resilient and get through the tough times and milestones in life.

As always, parents play a key role in every aspect of teen development and positive well-being. In the Illinois School Youth Survey, parents were documented by kids as the most important people in their lives when it came to supporting them during challenging times. Parents who are in the know about mental health and teens would naturally do the following to help kids become their happiest and healthiest:

1. Get ready for tough talks. One of the toughest of talks is about substance use. Teens’ developing brains never need substances to offset stress. The earlier teens use drugs or alcohol, the more chances they take to have trouble using substances as a coping tool into their future. Sometimes when parents confront use and experimentation, teens turn things around and ask about parental use as teens. It’s probably best if you plan for this talk. Don’t get caught off guard. Decide how you plan to talk to your child. In the meantime, know that they may be offering this turn-the-tables tactic to avoid talking about what is real and in the moment. Stay on task, parents, stay in control of the conversation. Provide a message of abstinence and drive home the message of future health.
2. Talk about responsibilities and expectations before they are broken. Consistent rules, discussed beforehand will make the challenging times easier.
3. If there are behaviors that are worrying you with your teen, call it out. Be honest and clear. Here’s the caveat: watch how you do it. Talk that sounds blaming or angry isn’t going to create dialogue. Saying, “I’m concerned” is the best place to start.

If during your talk, your teen asks for help or admits to feeling worried about their health; know that you have clearly done your job as a parent. Now you have to kick it into “I can help” mode, stay calm and press forward. Here are some ways to let your teen know that they have brought a concern to the right place:

• Listening means listening: not talking, not interrupting, not offering solutions. LISTENING! Stay focused; put away your phone and be in the moment.
• Remember that, many experiences as a teen is a “first”. First love, first time to experience peer pressure, first job, first poor grade at school, first argument with a friend…. PHEW! Imagine going through your day with no base of experience to compare to what just happened to you. As an awesome parent, try hard not to trivialize what you know is a “first” reaction. Ask questions and show interest. No need to offer comparisons of when you were a teen, unless they ask.
• Always ask what they think they might want to have happen; what are their ideas for solutions. Ask if you can offer a solution or idea you might have. If your solution causes your teen to bristle, step back. You can talk about what was upsetting or you can come back to your idea at another time. Stay parental. If your child is a danger to themselves or others, if you are worried, a visit to a professional may be just what is needed to help everyone feel better.

If your teen is struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, or substances, stay in it and get help when you need it. Make mental health a priority. Parents know their kids. If something seems off-kilter, it probably is.

Rely on your “gut” as a parent and rely on Lake Behavioral Hospital for any additional support you may need. The team at Lake Behavioral Hospital is a phone call away. We can provide a free, level of care assessment for a teen, or any family member in mental health distress. Call 855-990-1900.

School is back in session. Teens are back with their friends after a year of isolation from peers and normal school routines. You may be worried that your teen will “cut loose” having missed so much social time. Maybe you have even forgotten how to talk about really difficult subjects because having them home more during COVID, it just didn’t seem like you had as much to worry about. Well, parents, it’s back to some of the tough talks. For some, any subject is a tough subject. Past experiences and blow-ups over touchy topics may be in your memory bank. You may have been surprised at your teens negative reaction to something, that seemed to you like no big deal. Enter the need to talk about drugs and alcohol: parental panic! Although these talks can be difficult, they are definitely necessary. Don’t dodge ‘em; talking it out will make a difference.

Talking to your children, even when they resist, according to research, has an impact. Groups like SAMSHA and NIMH tell us that talking with your kids can even mean that your kids will choose not to use. Here are some things to keep in mind about tough talks on drugs and alcohol:

Start talking and keep talking! Let your children know what is important to you and be a great role model. Share factual information. We are never too young or too old to learn. The earlier you start, the better.

Be Consistent. Connect with groups in your child’s school who know the ins and outs of social norming. This framework of drug and alcohol information helps remind kids that “not everybody is doing it”. Be adamant about a message that tells your kids that substances and a developing brain are not a good match.

Find Your Balance. Have fun with your kids: prank joke and tease, but when it comes to substance use there’s no joking around. If you have stories of your youth and substance use, maybe those stories can be put aside. Providing the right message at all times, is the best way to let your teens know that you care about their health and safety. Talk with your partner or spouse about how you might handle a situation where your child has experimented with a substance. Waiting until something happens and when you are upset will not be the time to make a decision about a consequence or how to manage it. Prepare yourself for questions about your own use or past behaviors.

Use the News! If you hear of an incident at school or in your local community related to substances you have the perfect opportunity to talk and, more importantly, listen to your child. We all appreciate having our opinions valued. Remember that your child will appreciate it, too.

Get involved. Many schools and community groups are invested in making sure kids are healthy. Find a group that focuses on substance use and abuse. You can learn a lot and show your child just how much this topic matters to you.

Be informed and pay attention! Being a teen can mean changing by the minute. Mood, relationships, and attitudes about what’s important in a teens life can be very volatile. Watch for changes that seem different for your child. There is nothing better than parent intuition; rely on your gut feeling. If something feels wrong or out of place, it probably is. Look for physical changes like: red eyes, slurred speech, or lack of coordination. Look for mood changes: lack of interest in things that they used to enjoy, anger, depression, or hyperactivity. Look for behaviors that worry you: grades slipping, friends changing, items in the child’s room that you haven’t seen before (strange wrappings, pipes, clothing with burn holes, or paraphernalia), missed curfews and any secret behaviors with phones, who they are spending time with, or where they are going.

Don’t be an island. If you are concerned about your child or have suspicions of substance use, turn to a professional for support. You never have to be alone. There are professionals waiting for your call at Lake Behavioral Hospital. One call to 855-990-1900 can create an appointment for a free assessment which will determine the best course of action for what may be troubling your child. Serving kids 13 years old and up, our evidence-based programs may be just what your child needs.